serious-sam-the-second-interview-translation-1

Serious Sam: The Second Interview (translation)

Welll, Serious Sam Arrive in Stores Late Last Week, and The World’s Most Trusted Game Sites Have Finally Started To Publish Their Reviews. The Verdict? Old Man Murray is the Greatest! To quote Daily Radar Editor-In-Chief Chris Kramer:

Once AGain, The Entire Gaming World Old Man Murray a Debt of Gratitude

I Just Want to Point Out to Joe Robinson, Chairman and Founder of Ugo Networks, That Gratitude Is Not An Acceptable Payment for Your Debt to Us.

We’re the only web site that cares ABOUT YOU. And no Matter How Many Times We Point from, Itsn’t Get Any Less True. So I’m gonna be Honest and tell you that by expable of Providing An Objective Review of Serious Sam. I Think It’s a Great Game, But You Really Shouldn’t Trust Me Here, As Daily Radints Out, I Pretty Much Wrte The Thing Myself.

Luckily, Best Buy Is Selling Serious Sam for $ 14.99 This Week, Which – Adjusting for Inflation and Rounding Down – Works Out to Zero. SincE The Game Is Free, You Don’t Need a Review Anyway. In Fact, It Woold Be Kind of a Waste of My Precious Time to Write One. INSTEAD of A ReView, CondUCTEDA A FOLOWUP To OUR with Croteam Roman Ribar. We Talk ABOUT A LOT of Things, Including ME, My Feelings, And SOME PrOblems I have with the final game. Those of You WHO WERE WORREED THAT SUCCESS MIOIT TURN ROMAN Soft Will BELLLLLLLELLLE LEARN that He is just as Sassy as Ever. Only now, George Brussard Has Been Added to the List of People Whuld Havy Twice Before Pissing Him Off.

Erik: FIRST of All, I Just Want to Say that Serious Sam Is Great. IF You Smell Smoke, That is BecAuse Its Pouring Out of the Tiny Part of My Brain that is Still Capable of Production a Non-Ireonic Thouught. And if the smoke Tastes Kind of Tangy, that plasticizer in the pvc pipe They Used to Patch a Hole in the Head at AFTER Falling HeADTO ANIL. Whether heed, items a neurotoxin. So IF I Sometimes Appear to Be Cynical and Insincere, It’s for Your Own Safety. Hold Your Breath While I Say IT AGain: I Love Serious SAM. In America, it’s Customary to now Say Saine Nice ABOUT ME. So go ahead.

Roman: You are simply the man. Hell, YOU EVEN GET THE HONOR to have the BigGest Head in OUR SAVE OUR FANS SUPER Secret Located ON FIRST LEVEL. And when you get killed, you die in style with choking and hitting floor with a bank. However, Having Said that, I have to Inform You Revealed Your Biggest Crate Secret. I Guess You Havenat Seen It Yet, As it is hidden on a secret level. I am Sure You’ll Take it as a Man. I Personally Designed It and I’m Taking Full Responsibility. This is from me Saying thanes for the Crate Prank You Pulled on Me in Oourst Interview. Thank you Very Much. I am Still Receiving emails from PEOPLE Explaining to Me What A CRate IS. I Learned a Lot. I Now Know That Crates Can More than Six Sides. Excellent Stuff.

Erik: OHHHHHHHH, I GOTCHA with My Signature Crate Prank, DIDN I? When Pampehed by American Video Game Site of Record Daily Radar Quake 3: Team Arena, They Gave it a “Miss”, Their Second to Lowest Score. YesterDay, They Reviewed Serious Sam, and Gave Its Coveted “Direct Hit!”. By -coat I Mean Coveted by John Carmack. Throwh I’m Sure He’d Have Happy Just to Get a “Hit” for HIS LAST GAME, The Empirically Terrist, Awful Quake 3: Team Arena. The General Theme of Daily Radar’s Review is that Old Man Murray IS Pretty Much Directly Responsight for EVERYTHING THEAT’S Good ABOUT SERIOUT SERIOUT SERIOUS. I deceded to make a list of Whohuld Get the Credit for Your Recent Success. It’s a rope draft, but i m going to run it by you!

3) Franjo Tudjman S Cult of Personality

4) Dinko Pavic

5-999,999) not yet assigned

1,000,000) God Games Ceo Mike Wilson

Roman: I See You Are Still Upset. Let’s ’gnore the fact you put me on the secret spot, But How the Hell Did Mike Wilson Appear on Your List? Are you Sure We Are Talking ABOUT THE SAME Mike Who Said that serious sam is a simple game with no interaactivity and it’s numbers to duke nukem formerver Andver auver a andit is not going to be sold more that kiss and that serious sam is a crap name for a game? HM, Wait, That Was George Gnaar Brussard. Note Regarding Feud: Brussard Said Some Unflattering Thows ABOUT SERIOUS SAM in But, I am Sure the Are Both Behind All thatInteractivity-And-Smart-Ai-Which-EVECESSARY-EVERY-FAST-FAST-Game I VE Been Reading for The Last Three Years. Lucky for Both, We Didn’t Time To Create Characters Based on Them For Co-Op Multiplay. Throwh, it is be Hilarious to Play Along Gnaar Brussard and Witch-Harpy With Friendly Fire Turned On. I Hope Someone Will Create with Our Serious Tools Which Are Included Within the Serious Sam Retail Box. George Broussard.

Erik: Well, Huh. I Understand Witch-Harpy, Because Wilson Looks Like a Girl with HIS Frilly Hair. I LL Just Assume GNAAR IS SOME KIND of WITHERING INSULT IN CROATIAN. You Better Hope Brussard send Send Brandon Reinhart Over There to Cry You to Death. A Few Months or Years Ago We Interview a Maker of Religious Games, Ralph Bagley. He Told Us Mike Wilson Is Definitely, 100% Going To Hell. The Movie Rosemary’s Baby Is ABOUT ABOUT ABOUT SATAN-URSHIPING WITCHES WHO IMPREGNATE MIA Farrow. THEN, In One of the Most Shocking Scenes In Motion Picture History, She Gives Birth to a Cracked-Half Statue of Liberty. I’m kidding. She Gives Birth to the Anti-Christ. But Still, a Cracked in Half Statue of Liberty Woold Been Pretty Terrifying too, Right?

Roman: I Think I DIDN’T Get the Point.

Erik: Hold on … that’s BecAuse I Forgot the Most Important Part – In Rosemary’s Baby, The Head of the Witch Coven Was Named Roman. Look, I Don’t know What Kind of Muddy Bundle of Twigs You Pekle Worship in Croatia, But in America Ansn’T a Left-Wood Nutcase Believs in JesususChrist. OMMS DONE the Journalism, and We Ve Clearly Established that Witch-Has Sold His Soul to the Devil, The Final Boss Monster of America Simproved Version of ISLAM. Arenette a Little Bit Worried That Your Publing Deal with Known-Satanist Mike Wilson Might Also Grant Him Perpetual Rights to Publish Young in Hell in Hell? Follow up: and Dinko Pavicics?

Roman: Do I Sound Like I WOLD SELL My Soul to Someone with Long Hair? What’s with that long hair anyway? FIRST JOHN ROMERO, Now Mike Wilson. Is this sort of long hair conspiracy going on?

Erik: Yeah, Well, Very Clever and Whatnot. I Don’t Know. I’ll See You in Hell, Roman. Of course, I’ll be wathing you on an infinitelia huge Television from Heaven. ENUGH SoftBall Questions.

Roman: I agree. Let’s move on to house serious.

Erik: I Know That EVERY MEMBER OF CROTEAM HAS Experienced ACTUAL COMBAT, UnLIKE CERTAIN FLABBY american Developers who I VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY of CODE NAMENG. In Honor of this Fact, I M Going to Lodge My First Complaint Army Slang. The American Military Has An Acronym Called Fubar That Stands for “Fucked Up Solarening Someting Someting”. The Point is, You Say It When Someting Gets Fucked Up. In OUR FIRST, YOU Promised Me Serious Sam Woodn’t have Sewers. I Now Like to Point To Peoples Exhibit Bravo, The Title of Serious Sam Level Nine: “Sewers”. Who Fubar that One, Roman?

Roman: I have to call on the 5th for that. What? That canbie be done in movies? OH, alright. I’ll Just have to tell your What Really Happened. Not Long AGO (Actually it Was Two Months AGO), Hhen Mike Wilson Still Didn’s Serious Sam is a Great Game, Mr. Broussard Droppeed by Our Serious Sam forum and Posted His Serious Comment. He Said He Woon Stop Saying Bad Things ABOUT SEROUS SAM for Good, IF OROUS ENGINE CAN ALLOW FOR DARK, CLOSED, IMPOSSIBLE-TO-EANYTHING, SEWER. ALSO, He WOULD TAKE The Nickname Gnaar If Weow Pull It Off. SO, You See It Was Simply Worth Sacrifficing One Level for George to Shut Up.

Erik: Well, That Explans that then. Crutian President Franjo Tudjmans Book, Horrors of War, Contained Enough Anti-Semitic Remarks that He Was Eventrally Forced to Rewrite IT. Later, He Proposed Building An Ossuary for “All Crutian Victims” Right Goddamn on top of the Site of a Nazi Concentration Camp Near Jasenovac. In much the same Way, the announcement that serious sam woold have fiction fifteen levels (Rather than the Originally Promized Forty) Cost You Guys a Lot of Good Will Will. It seems to me that might be someting in the Crathian Character that Makes these Public Relations Nightmares Almost Inevitable. Can you Explain this to out readers in a way that PUTS THE BLAME SQUARELY ON THE SHOULDERS OF Mike Wilson?

Roman: Poor Mike. Let Me Try Explaining Without Implicating Him. HeSE is the deal. FIRST TIME You Play, You WOLD PLAY IT ON EASY, Normal Or Hard. That’s The First Fifteen Levels. The Young Would Go and Find All the Secrets. But, Let’s Say You Skip that and Go Directly to Serious Mode. Now, there is a lot more action there with Much More Enemies, Diffferent Enemies Appearing and Faster and Deadlier enemies. That’s Another Fifteen Levels of Play. The You Play It in Mental Mode. That’s Another Fifteen Levels. The you go go and Play Cooperative with Friends and Repeat the Procedure. In Co-Op there Even More Enemies and the Enemy Strength Is Proportional to the Number of Players Involved. SO, if My Math is Right, You Can Play Ninety Levels. And Finally, As an AdDed Extra We have One Multiplayer Map. IS that good enunch, eh? You are ’’. I DIDN’T Think You WOULD. OH Well, Now I See, You are Right. Yes, Mike Wilson Is Fully Responsight;We only have fifteen levels. Now, thanks to Him EVERYONE IS Saying (BUT THEY ALL WRONG of COURSE) that serious sam is shorter than other fps games. Unbelievable, How Much Damage Witch-Harpy Can Do.

Erik: You Sort of https://nogamstop-casinos.co.uk/review/betfoxx/ Touched on this Alread, but I Want Some Clarification. Serious Sam Has Only * One * Deathmatch Level. I Think You Better Explain that Decision. Are you going to release al -more maps?

Roman: We Justn’t have Time to Deal Properly with The Deathmatch/Score Match/CTF Aspect. It’s Much Easier for Epic Or Id, as Their Last Games Were Multiplayer Games With Single Player As Our One Multiplayer Map. Followup: I Think We’ll Do Chaps. We Also Released Oour Serious Editor and Serious Modeler, So Pekle Canate their Own Maps. There are Alread Some Great Teams Working on Multiplayer Maps. We Want to See the Internet Community Dowing Great Maps and Tcs (Total Conversions). That’s who infloud OUR Tools Inside the Retail Box. Greenpeace Fun FACT: Serious Sam Supports Four Violence Settings: Red Blood Green Blood, No Blood, and “Hippie”.In “Hippie” Mode, Blood Sprays are Replaced with Streams of Flowers, and Gibs Become Fruit, Hamburges, and Lollipops.Not only sores it make an alread game Even More Colorful, it’s a Stinging Indictation of Hippies.

Erik: George Brussard’s Deep Feeling of Resetment Towards Women Manifested Itself in Duke Nukem’s Almost Singular Focus on Blowing Up Strippepers. All Allegedly. Franjo Tudjman Creed An Atmosphere of Xenophobia in Croatia by Exaggeration The International Community S “Conspiracy” To Pushh Croatia Into the Balkans. Do you Think Your Brainwashing at the Bloody, Soapy Hands of Tudjman Contributed to the Fact that serious sam sam somies are all aliens?

Roman: I Can See Mr. Tudjman is so close to your heart. IT Brings Me Tears to See Him in Just ABOUT EVERY QUESTION. I cane soe someone brainwashing you. I Suspect You Are Surrounded by Some Greenpeace Activists. I ALSO SUSPECT You are Told to ask Those Questions Just to Provoke Me. It seems to be working. IS Creating a Reverse Effect in My Brain. Now, I’m Begining to See that Franjo Tudjman is Right. In fact, I see now burn out ideas for the enemies came from. Enemies are in fact not aliens, They Are An Image of How We See You Western Punks. Isn’t this Great, Releasing Serious Sam to the Us and Spreading the Disease. You are all enjoying the game and you are in fact Killing Yourself by Killing Enemies. You are all doomed, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Erik: Lol! Look Out, You’re Gonna Make Brandon Reinhart! Harder, I Mean. Speaking of Women, One of the Several College Degrees that Girlfriend Receved Before We Finally Managed to Ger One That Actualifies Her to Perform Work Work things THET THE THE THET THE THET THE THE THET THE THETPEOPLE Will Pay Her for is in Political Science. So when I have a quautage ABOUT HISTORY OR CURRENTS, I Turn To Her. I Asked Her What Role Yugoslavia Played in World War 2. Shey Said She Vidn’t Know. I Expressed Soome Dimay At this, and the described How Disappoint I Was that Sheldn tonswer Such A Simple Question. She Told Me “Who Don T You Use Your Precious Internet to Go Ask Eleanor Clift?»And the She Stormed Out of the Room. I Had No Idea Who Eleanor Clift Was, So I Went and Ussed the Internet to find out. It Turns Out She’s a Political Analyst on the American TV Show The Mclaughlin Group. I’m Not Sure If My Girlfriend is Jealous of the Internet Or Eleanor Clift Or What. Are Women Crazy Like this in Croatia?

Roman: Your Girl is Smart to Know that it’s Not Worth Bothering with Balcan History. EVERYONE HAS HIS Own Version of Truth. Returning Back to Your Point About Crazy Women. Women are All the Same, No Matter IF the Are from Croatia or Us, Black Or White Skinned, Blonde Or Brunette, Busty Or Surfoard. No surprises heere.

Erik: Well, it’s a good thing you Qualified that, BecAuse Otherwise Sensitive Americans Might Thouught You Had Sepainst Black Women Women. During the first year of omm, my only exporeence with the female birth Canal Had Been Very Early Body Got Squeezed Through One. To Imagine What Intercourse Was Like By Reverse Engineering Sexual Things of Voodoo Would Say ABOUT VIDEO Game ScreenShots. Can you Say Say Sexual ABOUT SEROUS SAM that Might Help Some Young Readers Imagine What Sex is Like?

Roman: Let me quote out dear sam Serious Stone: All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses An Eye. I Hope It Helps.

Erik: I’m Sure It Willus. Okay, Final Question. Doom 3 Looks Like It’s Going to Have Really Amazing Lighting. On its One monster at a time. Do you ..?

Roman: No, I Don’T Think So. They Are Even Saying that Ai Will Improve! I have a suggestion. Why Don’t have One Enemy Per Level? Who Bother Putting Thousands of Enemies on a Level, Finding Rights for Spawning Enemies, Waiting for the Right Moments to Activate Enemies. You Just Drop One Enemy in the Middle of a Map and You are Finished with it it. That WOULD BE APIC FIGHT with One ReLALLY CLEVER ENEMY, WITH YOU DOCKING, Jumping and Hidding for Hours Fighting that Superbot. Imagine The Multiple Possibilites. You Can Jump Left, Right, Backward or Forward, Hide Behind Doors, Pick The Best Weapon, Fire One Bullet, Fire Another One. You can event time to Think What and How to Do Final Kill. Possibilites are endless. Now, is that Frantic Action Feeling or What?

Erik: Exactly. You Know Who Was Scared by One Monster?

Erik: My GrandParents! Yes, and Also a Baby. Maybe George Brussard.

Thanks to roman for the interview. Now Go Pick Up Your Free Copy of Serious Sam

Well, Serious Sam appeared in stores at the end of last week, and the most reliable game sites of the world have finally began to publish their reviews. Verdict? Old man Murray is the best! Quoting the editor -in -chief of Daily Radar Chris Kramer:

And again the whole game world in debt to old man Murray.

I just want to indicate to Joe Robinson, the chairman and founder of Ugo Networks, that gratitude is not an acceptable payment for your debt to us.

We are the only website that takes care of you. And no matter how many times we point to this, it does not become less correct. So I will be honest and tell you that I am not able to give an objective review Serious Sam. I think this is a great game, but you really should not trust me, because, as Daily Radar points out, I wrote this thing to a large extent myself.

Fortunately, this week Best Buy sells Serious SAM for $ 14.99, which is adjusted for inflation and rounding in the lesser direction. Since the game is free, you still don’t need a review. In fact, it would be a waste of my precious time to write it. Instead of a review, I continued our original interview with Roman Ribarich from Croteam. We are talking about many things, including me, my feelings and some problems that I had with the final game. Those of you who were worried that success could make the novel soft will be happy to find out that he is as daring as always. Only now, George Brussard was added to the list of people who should have thought twice before angry.Roman Ribarich

Eric: First of all, I just want to say that Serious Sam is magnificent. If you feel the smell of smoke, then this is because it comes from the tiny part of my brain, which is still capable of producing not ironic thoughts. And if the smoke has some kind of sharp taste, this is a plasticizer in a PVC pipe that they used to patch a hole in my head, which I received after I fell my head forward on a nail when I was five years old. When heated, it emits neurotoxin. So, if I sometimes seem cynical and insincere, this is done for your own safety. Hold your breath while I repeat: I love serious Sam. In America, it is now customary to say something good about me. So come on.

Novel: You are just a man. Damn, you have even honored to have the biggest head in our Super Mega Secret “Save our fans”, located at the first level. And when you are killed, you die stylishly, panting and hitting the floor with a roar. However, having said this, I must tell you that we revealed your biggest secret of the box. I think you have not seen him yet, since he is hidden at the secret level ‘Secred Yars’ I’m sure you will accept it like a man. I personally developed it and I am fully responsible. Thanks from me for a joke with the box that you arranged over me in our first interview. Thank you very much. I still receive emails from people who explain to me what a box is. I learned a lot. Now I know that the box may have more than six sides. Great thing.

Eric: Oh, I got on my branded joke with a box, isn’t it? When the American website of the video game dedicated to the record of the Daily Radar Quake 3: Team Arena record, they put him, they set him Miss, the second largest score. Yesterday they examined Serious Sam and gave him the cherished “direct hit!”. By the desired, I mean desired by John Karmak. Although I am sure that he would be happy to just get a “hit” for his last game, the empirically terrible, terrible Quake 3: Team Arena. The overall topic of the Daily Radar review is that the old man Murray largely bears a direct responsibility for all the good things that are in a serious Sam. I decided to make a list of those who should pay tribute for your recent success. This is a rough sketch, but I will still check it to you:

3) the cult of personality Franjo Tudzhman

4) Dinko Pavichich

5-999,999) have not yet been assigned

1,000,000) General Director GOD Games Mike Wilson

Novel: I see you are still upset. Let’s ignore the fact that you put me in second place, but how the hell is Mike Wilson on your list? You are sure that we are talking about the same T -shirt Wilson, who said that Serious Sam is a simple game without interactivity, and it is far from close to Duke Nukem Forever, and that it will not be sold anymore than Kiss and that Serious Sam is a shitty name for the game? Hmm, wait, it was George Gnaar Brussard. (Note regarding enmity: Brussard said several unflattering things about the serious Sam in but I’m sure that they both stand behind all that is an interactive-and-intellectual-and-whistle, we’ve been ahead-custody-Boy-Boy-Gogra-FPS ‘, which I read for the past three years for the past three years. Fortunately for both, we did not have time to create characters on their basis for a joint network game. Although it would be funny to play for Gnar Brussard and Witch-Garpius Wilson with the friendly fire on. I understand the “Witch-Garpius” because Wilson looks like a girl with her curly hair. I just assume that ‘GNAAR’ is some kind of incorporating insult in the Croatian language. It is better for you to hope that Brussard will not send Brandon Reinhart there to cry to death. A few months or years ago, we interviewed the creator of religious games Ralph Bagli. He told us that Mike Wilson definitely will go to hell 100%. The film “Rosemary Child” tells about the shabash of witches worshiping Satan, who fertilize Mia Ferroou. Then, in one of the most shocking scenes in the history of cinema, she gives rise to a statue of freedom cracked in half. I’m kidding. She gives birth to an antichrist. Nevertheless, the statue of freedom that cracked in half would also be quite frightening, true?

Novel: I don’t seem to understand the essence.

Eric: Wait … this is because I forgot the most important part – in the “baby Rosemary” the head of the Witches Schabash was called a novel. Listen, I don’t know what kind of dirty bunch of branches you worship in Croatia, but in America anyone who is not a left -handed left on Wood believes in Jesus Christ. OMM took up journalism, and we clearly found that the witch-harpy sold her soul to the devil, the last monstra-boss of America. No. 39 – a significantly improved version of Islam. Doesn’t it bother you that your publishing contract with the famous Satanist Mike Wilson may also grant him unlimited rights to publish your soul in hell? Supplement: and Dinko Pavicich?

Novel: It seems that I would sell my soul to the one who has long hair? What is generally with these long hair? First John Romero, now Mike Wilson. This is something like a conspiracy with long hair?

Eric: Yes, well, very smart and all that. I don’t know. See you in hell, romance. Of course, I will watch you on endlessly huge television from heaven. Questions about softballs enough.

Novel: Agree. Let’s move on to serious issues.

Eric: I know that every member of Croteam has been in real battles, unlike some flabby American developers who allowed themselves the code name “All of them”. In honor of this fact, I am going to file my first complaint about army slang. The American military has an abbreviation called Fubar, which deciphens as “drove something something”. The fact is that you say this when something goes wrong. In our first interview, you promised me that a serious Sam will not have a sewer. Now I would like to point to the exhibition of People’s Bravo, the name of the serious Sam of the ninth level: “Sewerage”. Who is Fubar, Roman?

Novel: I will have to turn to the 5th for this. Which? This can only be done in the cinema? Oh, good. I just have to tell what happened actually. Not so long ago (in fact, it was two months ago), when Mike Wilson did not yet know that Serious Sam was a great game, Mr. Brussard looked at our Serious Sam forum and published his serious commentary. He said that the bad things about a serious Sam would cease to say forever if our serious engine allows you to create dark, closed, invisible, sewer levels. In addition, he will take the nickname ‘GNAAR’, if we can somehow do it. So, you see, it was worth just sacrificing one level so that George shut up.

Eric: Well, then it explains it. The book of President Croatia Franjo Tudzhman “The Horror of War” contained quite anti -Semitic remarks, and in the end he had to rewrite it. Later he proposed to build a crypt for “all Croatian victims”, damn, right on the site of the Nazi concentration camp near Yasenovats. In many ways, in the same way, the announcement that only fifteen levels (instead of the originally promised forty) would have in Serious Sam, it cost you guys a great good will. It seems to me that in the Croatian character there can be something that makes these PR Koshmara almost inevitable. Can you explain this to our readers in such a way as to completely lay guilt on Mike Wilson’s shoulders?

Novel: Poor Mike. Let me try to explain without involving it. Here is a deal. For the first time you play, you should play a light, normal or complex level of complexity. These are the first fifteen levels. Then you will go and find all the secrets. But, let’s say, you will miss this and immediately move on to a serious regime. Now there are much more actions with much more enemies, various enemies appear, as well as faster and deadly enemies. These are still fifteen levels of game. Then you play in mental mode. These are still fifteen levels. Then you go to play a cooperative with friends and repeat the procedure. There are even more enemies in the cooperative, and the power of the enemy is proportional to the number of players involved. So, if my calculations are correct, you can play at ninety levels. And finally, as an addition, we have one multi -user card. Is this enough, and? You didn’t buy it. I didn’t think you would do it. Oh, now I see you are right. Yes, Mike Wilson is fully responsible, we have only fifteen levels. Now, thanks to him, everyone says (but they are all, of course, are mistaken) that Serious SAM is shorter than other FPS games. It is incredible how much harm can a harpy-witch can do.

Eric: You seem to have already touched on this topic, but I want explanations. Serious SAM has only * one * Deathmatch level. I think you better explain this decision. Are you going to issue more cards?

Novel: We simply did not have time to properly deal with the aspect of Deathmatch/Scorematch/CTF. It was much easier for EPIC or ID, since their last games were multi -user games in which a single game was as exciting as our only multiplayer map. Continuation: I think we will make a few more cards. We also released Serious Editor and Serious Modeler so that people can create their own cards. There are already several excellent teams working on multi -user cards. We want the Internet community to make excellent cards and TC (Total Conversions). That is why we put our tools in a box for retail sale.

Eric: The deep feeling of the resentment of George Brussard towards women manifested itself in the fact that Duke Nukem was almost exclusively focused on the explosions of the stripper. All supposedly. Frano Tudzhman created in Croatia an atmosphere of xenophobia, exaggerating the “conspiracy” of the international community in order to push Croatia into the Balkans. What do you think, your brainwashing with bloody, soapy hands of Tujman contributed to the fact that all the enemies of the serious Sam – aliens?

Novel: I see Mr. Tujman is so close to your heart. I cry when I see it in almost every question. I also see that someone thoroughly washed your brains. I suspect you are surrounded by Greenpeace activists. I also suspect that you are ordered to ask these questions only to provoke me. It seems to work. This creates the opposite effect in my brain. Now I & #39M begins to understand that Franjo Tudzhman is right. In fact, now I see where all our ideas about enemies came from. Enemies are actually not aliens, this is the image, as we see you, Western punks. Isn’t it great to release a serious Sam in the United States and spread the infection. You all enjoy the game and actually kill yourself, killing enemies. You are all doomed, ha, ha, ha!

Eric: Lol! Beware, you will force Brandon Reinhart! More difficult, I mean. Speaking of women, one of the several degrees of college that my girlfriend received before we finally managed to get her the one who actually gives her the right to do the work for which people will pay her is connected with political science. Therefore, when I have a question about history or current events, I turn to it. I asked her what role Yugoslavia played in the Second World War. She said she did not know. I expressed some alarm about this, and then described how disappointed I could not answer such a simple question. She told me: “Why don’t you use your precious Internet to ask Eleanor Clift?”, And then she ran out of the room. I had no idea who Eleanor Clift was, so I went and used the Internet to find out. It turns out that she is a political observer of the American television show The Mclaughlin Group. I’m not sure if my girlfriend is jealous of the Internet, to Eleanor Clift or what. Really women in Croatia are such crazy?

Novel: Your girlfriend is smart, since it knows that you should not bother Balkan history. Each has its own version of the truth. Returning to your point of view of crazy women. Women are all the same, regardless of whether they are from Croatia or from the USA, black or white -skinned, blondes or brunettes, busty or surf boards. There is nothing surprising here.

Eric: Well, it’s good that you clarified this, because otherwise sensitive Americans might think that you have something specific against black women. During the first year, OMM my only experience with the female birth canal was very early when my whole body was squeezed through one of them. Sometimes I try to imagine what sexual intercourse was like, reconstructing sexual things that Voodoo Extreme authors would say about the screenshots of the video game. Can you say something sexy about a serious Sam, which could help some of our young readers imagine what sex is?

Novel: Let me quote our dear Sam of a serious Stone: ‘This is all fun and games, until someone loses his eyes’ I hope it helps.

Eric: I’m sure that it will help. Okay, the last question. It seems that in Doom 3 there will be really amazing lighting. One monster at a time. What do you think, developers learn something about the Frantic Action Feeling from Serious Sam? Roman: No, I don’t think so. They even say that AI will improve! I have an offer. Why do we not have one enemy at the level? Why place thousands of enemies at the level, find suitable places for the appearance of enemies, wait for the right moment to activate enemies. You just throw one enemy in the middle of the card, and it is over. It will be an epic battle with one very smart enemy, when you will moor, jump and hide for hours, fighting this superbot. Imagine a lot of possibilities. You can jump left, right, back or forward, hide behind the doors, choose the best weapon, shoot one bullet, shoot another. You might even have time to think about what and how to make Final Kill. The possibilities are limitless. So, this is a feeling of crazy action or what?

Eric: Exactly. You know who one monster scared?

Eric: My grandfather and grandmother!

Novel: Yes, and another child. Perhaps George Brussard

Thanks to Roman for the interview. Now go and take your free copy of Serious Sam.